surrender

let it slide
put down the phone
step away from the computer

look at your surroundings
see the beauty
while you’re there

go out and kiss
another girl
if you need to

go swimming
spend time with children
take it easy

hold out a little longer
let it get better
don’t try to make it better

let her go
gently
learn to do this a new way

even if it all gets better
even if her mind changes again
you need to do this

face it with love
don’t be afraid
just see what happens

be who you are
shamelessly 
no apology

give all you have
take all you need
no limits

be you with love
your love is great
let it grow till you can’t stand it

then surrender

too late (bargaining phase)

we laughed
talked together
held hands
you held your parka over me
when it rained
I shyed away

we said words
“only you”
“forever”

whispered late at night
your head against my chest,
more words like
“best”
“brightest”

you’d fall asleep so soundly
you never heard me whisper the last
“I love you”
before I’d get up to pace away the night

If I could I’d relive
every sleepless night
I’d stay in bed and hold you close those
extra hours

I’d share your parka
in the rain

I’d change all the “no’s”
that hurt you
into “yes” and “thank you”

I’d laugh
not cry
when we made love

I’d stop trying too hard
I’d not come on so strong

If we could have forever
together
again
with only you
and only me

I’d do whatever I had to
to make it feel good
for you

irreverence

i left respect for the priestly class behind
long, long ago
when i saw that superficial attachment to gods
served as a justification for abuse

detachment from human passion
breeds a sense of superiority
no matter the ideology
behind the action

life without feeling is dry, useless
life without passion is death
life in an emotional cage is torture
life based on abstract principle is an insult

to life itself
to the beauty and the rage
of the ever-evolving cosmos

I am whole, I am made of matter and
blood and water, same as you
if you cannot love me this way
with open wounds and abscesses that leak
you cannot love me

my love is not a holy relic
it is lust and pain and joy and sheer exuberance
my love is heresy
entropy, chaos

I sought shelter for too long
for this unbridled love
your saintly attempts to cleanse me
hurt me
your need for a god, for any type of god
betrayed my nature
caged me, beat me
almost broke me

I invite you to leave behind
your false god of holy revolution
step off your altar
and sing and dance with me 
while we still have an earthly life
together

if you do not desire this
go live with the monks and scholars
and let me dance, and sing,
and revel in my imperfection

re-entry

flying, flying high, so far up
we milked the moon of her last drops
then crashed

separation upon re-entry
the stars laughing at us
as the boosters ripped off the tank

it seemed like we were only flying together
for a few twinkling moments,
still the flight felt natural

when we fly again together
the moon, she’ll smile at us
our engines will cough out stardust
from different parts of the galaxy

the gardener

we were all wildflowers
when she picked us

chosen for our savage beauty
our resistance to domestication

for a while I had the honor
solitary bud on her collar
pinned to her heart forever, she said
then she began to wander

the virgin forests
around the big lake

she found wilder, redder roses
gathered them all

she arranged them into bouquets
smiling as she trimmed their leaves
humming as she stripped their thorns
singing “look at all these beauties”

and I saw her pin them
to her heart, to her mind

as she gently plucked me from her collar
and placed me back into the ground