Haiku 64

I went outside and

looked up at the stars a while

as I thought of you

Haiku 50

I never wanted

you to “fix” me or “save” me

I just wanted you

Night Visit

a memory i hold onto

you come visit we sit

on the steps of the porch

waiting for a pizza

i’m between your legs and you

slide your fingers all through

the hair on the back of my head

and you kiss me and kiss me and kiss me

and for those minutes my life isn’t blowing up around me

for those minutes nothing else exists in all the known universe

aside from you, me

kisses on the porch steps

under the early spring-time

stars

Haiku 5

let me kiss those lips

just one more time, i’m begging

touch my face again

Sad Poem 1

I wish I’d never agreed to meet you
I wish I hadn’t told you how cute and
Sweet
I thought you were
I wish I hadn’t ever shared anything with you
Especially the personal stuff
The stuff that wrecked my head
You’ve become so cold and callous
I don’t know what I was thinking
I don’t know what I was thinking

Why did I ever let you give me hope
Why did I feel safe around you
And I don’t know which
Scenario seems worse
The idea that you never cared and it was all a lie
So you could use me
Or the idea that something was really there and you
Killed it
On purpose
Cause you couldn’t stand the thought of loving
Me

Haiku 30

I think some people

Can’t live with my rough edges

O well then- their loss

Bitter Poem 1

So when someone tells you they really really like you,

Love you, even

No really, you’re great, you’re just *amazing*
But they aren’t ready for a relationship
Then they jump into a relationship with someone else
Even tho it’s “not your business”
It’s in your face and you have to be the one to play nice
Even tho you’re not the one who did the lying
And it isn’t cute
And you aren’t fucking happy for them
And i’m sorry but it’s not fair
And yeah, nobody has to tell me
“Well, life’s not fair” because
I’ve known that my whole fucking life
Ok?
Like, everything has been an example of the unfairness
So no I’m not gonna force myself to be happy
To be convenient
Because guess what?
Life isn’t fucking fair
So I don’t have to go outta my way
To make you feel ok
I hope you feel guilt and shame
Over how you dealt with me
Because you treated me like
Dogshit
So you get to make it right
Or you get to see the bitter in my eyes
Every time i look at you

Never, Never Ever

She is never going to care
She is done with you she
Has cut you carelessly from
Her conscience, she threw you away
She never cared in the first place
She only wanted attention
Affection
Ears to listen
Anybody’s touches would do
Anybody’s ears sufficient
There was nothing special about you
She will never, ever care
Get it thru your head
SHE WAS NEVER THERE

My Wish

truthfully

i do wish you could have loved me

that there had been more

walks by the river

holding hands together

nights spent talking about everything under the moon

making plans taking pictures cracking jokes

i wanted to know

how you take your coffee

your thoughts on philosophy

how you like to be held while you sleep

your secrets, your goals

what I remember

is visceral, salt and sweat

shivers and touches

grabs, licks, bites

lips, tongues, hands

beautiful humid memories

that vaporize a little more every day it’s over

you were a momentary lover but

truthfully

i do wish you could have loved me

surrender

let it slide
put down the phone
step away from the computer

look at your surroundings
see the beauty
while you’re there

go out and kiss
another girl
if you need to

go swimming
spend time with children
take it easy

hold out a little longer
let it get better
don’t try to make it better

let her go
gently
learn to do this a new way

even if it all gets better
even if her mind changes again
you need to do this

face it with love
don’t be afraid
just see what happens

be who you are
shamelessly
no apology

give all you have
take all you need
no limits

be you with love
your love is great
let it grow till you can’t stand it

then surrender